There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Randomize
