It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
