since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
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