My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
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