Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
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