Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
Randomize
