he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
