No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
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