My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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