its not stalking. its research.
love makes seman taste better
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
Randomize
