So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
He had one of those small greek statue penises
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Randomize
