There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
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