This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
