they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Randomize
