What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
Randomize
