totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
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