Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
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