what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
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