PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
Randomize