sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
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