why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize
