Don't you send me to vm
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
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If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
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