Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
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