OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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