pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
