summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
Randomize
