then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
