6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
