Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
