she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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