Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
no, he came in my armpit
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
