i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
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