you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
Randomize
