BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
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I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
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