Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
Randomize
