I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Randomize