Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
I came so hard my ears popped.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
