I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
