Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
Randomize
