I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Randomize
