woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
It was confusing and full of hummus
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
Randomize