Only a mothe r could love this liver
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
