We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
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