he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
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