i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Randomize
