i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Randomize
