I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
