pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
I supernannyed him into submission
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
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