Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
