I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
