he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
Randomize
