There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
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